(Memories)
by loosingletters
Summary: "After thousand and thousand of dreams we awaken. After thousand and thousand of births we are born. This, the end, is only the beginning." - Dr. Brian Weiss. Or in which after spending ages alone, Allen meets Road and Nea again. Reincarnation AU set in the future. Millennium Earl!Allen.


**Dedicated to tumblr user oyakorodesu whose wonderful art inspired me and was so kind to let me write a little piece for it.**

It was a nice day all around, a mild October afternoon. The last of this year's summer warmth lingered in the air and so Allen had decided to spend the day outside, resting beneath Cornelia's branches instead of his bed.

The past week had been busy with Road growing more curious about the past and asking questions he wasn't willing to answer.

How was he supposed to explain to the child he'd been raising for nine years now that once upon a time her past self and him had stood on opposite sides of a ( _hurtful, useless, **bloody** )_ war as old as Earth itself?

He couldn't tell her that it was his fault she had died. With as many flashes of the past she had gotten recently, it was only a question of time anyway until she would remember.

For now though he'd keep her in safe naïveté and spare her the nightmares ( _memories, past life, **pain**_ ) that were sure to come. She was the only reincarnation, the only familiar piece in a world which kept going and growing, seemingly uncaring of what it did to its inhabitants.

Even if Road by far wasn't ( _shouldn't **have to** become_) the woman who was willing to cross every line after having seen her family rise and die twice, but rather a little girl who dragged her father into reacting fairy tales by using Barbie dolls with her or teaching her the piano, she still possessed the soul of someone he, after everything, had considered family ( _enemy, friend, **blurry lines**_ ).

His Road didn't deserve the memories that were already starting to haunt her, so he'd keep them under lock and key for as long as he could.

Unfortunately it didn't spare him from waking up screaming at ungodly hours in the morning. In those nights he often found himself unable to go back to sleep and spent hours walking through the Campbell mansion.

"Please keep the nightmares away from me, Cornelia," Allen muttered as he closed his eyes, fatigue catching up with fast enough to drown out the noise of his memories.

It was rather calm, no loud noises disturbed Allen while he dozed off, much deserved rest claiming him. He couldn't really fall asleep; he had been unable to do so in the open ever since the war. Sleeping lightly had been the only option back then if you hadn't been inside the safe Headquarter.

Then it rustled behind him. It was probably Road, wanting help with her homework.

"Road?" An unfamiliar ( ** _beloved_** _, dearly missed_ ) voice asked and Allen opened his eyes immediately, all signs of drowsiness gone, not believing his own ears.

Surely it must be a cruel trick his mind was playing him? It wouldn't be the first time his dreams filled him with unreasonable, hope taking him to new heights before the cold realization of his current predicament burned his wings and he crashed into the sea beneath him.

However he was awake and this was reality, what he was seeing had to be the truth.

But even if it was all a beautiful lie ( _please not again his heart will **break** and he can't put it back together_), Allen couldn't take his eyes off windswept black hair and honey colored eyes.

The boy ( _friend, **family** , partner_) stared at Allen in wonder, studied his expression and upon solving the puzzle, frowned.

"You're not Road. Who are you?"

Allen opened his mouth and for the first time in a while ( _years, decades, **ages**_ ) he wondered if he'd be able to talk at all.

"No, I'm not. Road I mean. I'm- I'm ( _your friend, host, **partner in crime**_ ) Allen. Allen Campbell."

He tried to smile and imagined failing horribly. He hadn't smiled in so long, could he forget to do it at all?

But the boy didn't seem to mind Allen's crooked smile, but rather gifted him with a sign of happiness from himself. Though he appeared to be a little confused too.

"Isn't that the name of Road's father?"

Allen twitched, remembering he hadn't reapplied the aging spell. He hadn't gone past the Campbell grounds to the city next by since Road's school enrollment, which was what? Four years ( _too long, **time** kept taking away everything_) ago now?

Before he could explain himself though, the boy began to talk again.

"My name is Nea! I'm ten years old! Road invited me ove-"

Allen didn't know what moved him ( _pain, fear, **hope** , love_) but one moment he was sitting and the next he was pulling the boy into a hug, tears running over his cheeks.

He must look so pathetic ( _helpless, old, **tired** , weary_) and probably scared the boy, yet he couldn't bring himself to let go.

"I'm sorry ( _for letting you **die** , leaving you behind, never telling you the truth_). Welcome back."

For a moment nothing happens, then a tiny hand was patting his back.

"It's alright, Allen," Nea said. "I'm back now, aren't I?"

Nea's eyes were golden ( _Noah eyes, flashes of **memories** , reflections_) and so full of life.

"Don't leave again."

"I won't," Nea replied, gold bleeding out of his eyes, leaving honey. "Now I have a school project to finish. I'll come and talk to you and Cornelia again later!"

Nea smiled brightly, then turned around and ran towards the house again, shouting for Road to come out of her hideout.

It was surreal, strange, yet Allen couldn't help the smile daring to show itself.

 **Allen's been alone for very long before he found baby Road in an orphanage. He's really not all okay. So on one hand he doesn't want Road and now Nea too, to remember their past (and they can't/won't completely but they get flashes, bits of emotions and memories) because honestly it sucks and children shouldn't have to deal with it. But on the other, Allen misses everyone from before he got stuck with semi immortality and everyone died.**

 **I hope you like it!**


End file.
